prioritization & the obstacle called life

my last post was months ago where i was clearly upbeat about the possibilities of positive journaling.  a 30-day trial period into a world of bliss was at my doorstep yet i was derailed on day one.  why is it that so many of us find inspiration yet give up before giving it a fair try?  mainly i blame life and the busy schedules we force upon ourselves.  it is not easy to balance full time work with full time life.  but then to make it even more difficult, we add in a handful of unnecessary distractions and resolutions for a better self.  not all people find this difficult; we all know the rare creature who seems to be made in the likeness of superwoman.  she can take care of her self, her kids, her husband, climb the corporate ladder, and be one step ahead of oprah when it comes to the "now" book to read.  this woman works out every morning, gets manicure & pedicures on a regular basis, and looks polished every minute of the day.  we hate this woman and i don't have an ounce of her in me.  with that said, i do possess the desire to be "more".  i'd like to find a small sliver of superwoman and blend her into my chaotic being.  perhaps what i need to realize is that with every additional distraction, something must be left behind.  we can not simply continue to cram more into our lives, we must prioritize the things we consider necessary.  the "fluff" must go to make way for new objectives.  this week i'm going to prioritize my schedule, starting with a way to get my ass to the gym a few times a week…

love,
nicole

wishful thinking | day one

b. happy's has finally arrived! today was our grand opening and it was a smashing success. we spent years talking & dreaming about what this day would be, and it exceeded every expectation. the once dreary lot across from trader joe's has been transformed into an urban oasis. our simple chic boutique restaurant/art cafe is perfectly nestled into the space, surrounded by the most gorgeous drought resistant garden and eco friendly paved lot. it's hard to believe this is ours!

every detail is delicious; from the recycled wooden plank ceiling to the concrete floor. the current art work on display is incredible, and every piece sold today. we are already on the look out for new artists to display their works in our humble happy place.

5 minutes of visualization: i pictured myself outside in the small seating & dining area, surrounded by smiling faces. thinking of this dream becoming a reality definitely made me happy, but quite suddenly i felt a tinge of sadness in knowing it was make believe...

think a happy thought

in a [very] rare moment of relaxation, i came across an article regarding the positive affects of wishful journaling. of course we all know stress is a killer, wreaking havoc on our health, but i was completely unaware that journaling positive thoughts & wishful thinking can actually improve one's health. according to the Journal of Positive Psychology, a simple 15 minute journal entry of your hopes & dreams followed by a 5 minute visualization of actually experiencing those things led to a more optimistic outlook on life than those who simply write about their day.

i'm going to give this a test drive, journaling my hopes & dreams for the next 30 days. while i obviously won't know for sure if this act has improved my health, i will certainly know if it improves my overall attitude.

looking in the mirror

do it! take a good look in the mirror and laugh.

make a funny face, do a ridiculous dance, and laugh.

out loud, at yourself.

it's incredible how refreshing this can be after a long day.

this morning my husband locked our daughter in the car.

it was early, she was sleeping, and was never in danger...but how was i to know any of this?

i received the call during a company meeting and assumed my husand was playing a bad joke on me. when i realized he was serious, i ran out of the building and drove like a bat out of hell to rescue our 10 month old truffle. i arrived at the scene to find my husband completely relaxed, playing with our babysitter's children, not even the slighteset bit concerned.

sometimes it is a difficult decision; shall i laugh or shall i cry?

starbucks, suckers!

i'd like a grande add shot 2 pump classic latte, over ice.

or better yet, make that a grande americana with 2 pumps classic and a splash of nonfat.

what is the difference you ask?

basically $1.50.

is it because saying the word "latte" is somewhat therapeutic?

is it because, like me, you have no idea what an iced americana is?

is it because we are all suckers?

perhaps…but let me share this with you now.

a grande iced americana with whatever sweetener or lack thereof you prefer, is three (3) shots espresso over ice. you can add water, milk, or soy. you can add whatever you want.

the bottom line is this drink is $1.50 less than an iced latte.

now go order your iced americana and start saving some dinero on your daily starbucks habit.

365 x 2

two years.

a lot can change in two years.

for me this time included a pregnancy, a birth, the beginning of my family.

parallel to this incredible bliss was a world of frustration, doubt, and disbelief.

finding a balance between new mother, loving wife, and working woman has been a challenge.

functioning in two polar opposite universes certainly takes its toll on a person.

at home, life is happy and positive, filled with good energy and excitement.

at work, days are directionless and confusing, filled with awkwardness and discomfort.

still, i hang on hoping for the best. clinging on to the chance that some change will take place.

someday, things will make sense. someday, there will be clear direction. someday, someone will understand that a motivated employee is a productive employee.

i wait on the sidelines, occasionally offering my feedback, half heartedly holding my breath.

walking the line

all around me people are losing their jobs.

for many this is simply a paycheck; for some this is their livelihood, their dreams, their being.

two and a half years i have worked in the field of architecture and design.

i would love that to mean i am a designer, or an architect, but in fact i am an accountant. at this point in my career my main objective is to collect money, which as you can imagine has become increasingly difficult. there are many days i feel as though my title should not be ar accountant but rather "excuse coordinator" and i have plenty of stories which would convince you this is true.

the reasons our clients can not pay our firm on time have become more disheartening with each passing month. the bottom line is simple: they have no money. the banks have stopped funding, and most people were careless in the beginning stages of their cash disbursements. mommy needs a new bentley, right? and daddy needs a new escalade? of course! we'll just use this business loan to keep up with the jones's.

before getting too carried away, i should get back to the main reason i began typing in the first place: job loss.

two words.

one meaning.

and an array of emotion.

i imagine being pulled into the conference room on dooms day; being tapped on the shoulder and asked to enter this room, where my final paycheck is laid out before me. i imagine how this might be the most ego crushing of all things and how i would most likely begin weeping like a small child. i wonder how each of us can give so much day after day after day, losing ourselves completely in the work we do, forgetting about hobbies and dreams and destiny.

for what?

the american dream has faded into a security blanket made up of 50 hours a week in an office, two weeks "paid vacation", partially paid mediocre at best health insurance, getting a pay check every two weeks, and hoping to avoid the conference room of shattered dreams the next time our financial forecast doesn't match our head count.